Are You A WORRYWART?

Worrying isn't a science. It's an art. One of us have perfected during childhood. From 'you better start worrying about your future' to 'you should be worry about that final exam', it's as if we are raised to believe we would only be eligible for adulthood with a healthy worry list. By the time we realise there's nothing remotely healthy about worrying, we may have already become a worrywart.

The good news is, since worrying is actually a conditioned behaviour, it can be undone. Here's how:

Worry Breaker 1

QUESTION IT

The best way to vanquish your fears is to face them, especially since the very process of worrying has a tendency of becoming much bigger than the problem itself. Write down your current worries, then go through each one asking yourself:

1. Is this worry realistic or unrealistic?

2. Is worrying about this issue likely to be productive or non-productive?

3. Am i worrying about something that could be resolved with effective action?

4. Am i worrying about something that i don't know enough about to resolve myself? If so, why am i not asking others for help?

5. Am i worrying because i trusted myself to handle something i really am not experienced enough to handle?

When Jane* found herself worrying about five issues simultaneously, she knew she had gone too far. So she wrote similar questions on a slip of paper and tucked it into her purse. Each time a worry arose, she let the questions decidenwhether it desrved attention. Most of the time, it did'nt. Not only did the questions eliminate most of her worries, they also gradually put a halt to her worry habit.

The questions made me face my worst fears about a situation,"she said. "I often dramatise an issue in my mind when in reality, the worst-case scenario isn't a matter of life or death. Realising this increased my confidence of being able to cope and helped me relax."

Worry Breaker 2

ANSWER IT

You've wiped out most of your worries off your mind but a few still remain. Since these are the ones that deserve your atention, rank them in order of importance and work out a solution for each with a task, deadline and a reward. When Jane* did this, she was amazed at how much smaller her problems appeared on paper.

"My level of anxiety immediately dipped because just the act of writing it down gave me the reassurance that i had it under control. Knowing that i could actually do something about it helped me see the problem and solution much clearer.And the rewards were always good!"

Effects OF Excessive Worrying

An overdose of worrying often leads to multiple physical and emotional symptoms. If you recognise more than three listed below, your worying is going overboard.

Physical Effects

• rapid pulse
• breathlessness
• trembling
• sweaty palms
• dry mouth
• chests pains
• digestive problems (nausea/diarroea)
• los of appetite
• headache
• sleeplessness
• stomach ache

Emotional and Behavioural Effects

• feeling of helplessness
• difficulty with making decisions
• lack of self-confidence
• difficulty concentrating
• panic attacks
• obsessive behaviour

Worry Breaker 3

LEARN TO TRUST

When you don't trust yourself to fulfill the demands of life, you will worry. When you don't trust others to help you, you worry more. Jane* found out the hard way.

After being promoted, she was anxious to let her bosses see that they had made the right decision. She pushed herself to te limit for thre months until her body caved in with panic attack. In hospital, as Jane freted about her work deadlines, her sister commented how unfair her bosses were for promoting her to such a demanding position without providing her with a team to share the load.

"That comment was a slap in my face," Lisa* remembered. "I suddenly realized that i did have a team. I just didn't trust them enough to delegate the work. So while they put up their feet in the office, I was worrying about performing al their responsibilities myself. I told myself that when i was back, i would start trusting them to do what they did best. It was difficult, but worth it.

Worry Breaker 4

POSTPONE YOUR WORRIES

This gimmick, also called Rearranging Your Mental Furniture, involves 'delaying' your worries for a later time. Whenever you feel a worry coming on, jot it down in a 'Worry Notebook' and tell yourself you will forget it for now and return to it later.

This deceptively simple technique is effective because your mind is 'fooled' into thinking you haven't given up worrying. Meanwhile, you lose the habit of worrying in the present moment. Eventually, you'll simply forget your original worries!

Should You Be Worried?

Aren't sure whether your worrying is excessive? Here's a snap test: answering 'yes' to even one questions means it is.

• You worry about 'something bad' happening in the future.
• You worry someone or something will br hurt or harmed.
• You believe that if you just worry hard enough, somehow you'll keep bad things from happening.
• You believe that if you don't worry, it would mean you don't really care.

Worry Breaker 5

BECOME DETACHED

Worrying often stems from an attachment to a particular or specific outcome. When you want things to happen in specific ways in order to feel hapy and satisfied, you set yourself up for disappointment. In other words,'bad things' wil hapen to you more frequently, and you'll be fuelling your body to worry more intensely.

Karen* swears her youthful loks are the result of her practising detachments. She hardly worries because she knows that if she takes care of the present, the future will take care of itself.

"The only thing that is important is what I'm doing this very minute,"she said. "No thinking about the outcome allows me to focus and give my best. When i know I've done that, I' not affected by the outcome, no matter what it is."